Since it’s nearing the end of summer and we have our first family beach trip planned for the end of August. I figured I would write a blog to inform everyone while I will most likely be hanging around the pool or sunbathing in a beach chair versus frolicking in the ocean waves. So here are my top 6 reasons why…
1. SHARKS… YES SHARKS.. LIVE IN THE OCEAN!!!
This one is fairly self-explanatory but let me elaborate a little more. Sharks live in the ocean, they come in all sizes from only a foot long to 10 feet long to whatever…. that doesn’t really matter. What matters is that they have large mouths that are chock-full of razor-sharp teeth and they are HUNGRY. So don’t put yourself between a shark an its food or… YOU WILL GET EATEN! Enough said. Honestly, I could probably just stop with 1 reason but I will continue for the sake of this blog.
2. A Jellyfish sting hurts like hell and could even kill you.
These little buggers are the weirdest looking things and they can create the most horrible pain (this pain is not similar to losing a limb to a shark). Even the little baby jellyfish that you can’t see will zap the crap out of your legs and can possible leave nasty looking welts and scares. YEAH no thanks.
3. This fun, magical, crazy current called a riptide.
Apparently this can just happen out of no where. Note that statement may not be true, but that’s how I feel! The riptide will take down even the strongest of swimmers. Apparently there are ways to try to escape them which is shown in the one picture.. OR you could do as I do and just avoid the ocean so you don’t have to worry about being sucked into some ridiculously strong current.
4. Sand gets EVERYWHERE! Even places you didn’t know existed.
Yes.. this isn’t life threatening like the top 3 reasons are but that’s why this one is #4 in the list. It’s still a pain and something that freaks me out about the ocean. Especially if you get knocked over by a huge wave and go rolling through the sand!! Please note.. I look absolutely nothing like these ladies! My swimsuit covers me from neck to mid-knee thus tons of space for sand to get lost in…. Yes I leave you with that lovely mental picture… feel free to thank me in the comments!
5. Have you ever had a mouthful of SALT WATER?!
If you haven’t then let me tell you… It’s not fun! This goes back to the point discussed with reason #4. Getting knocked down and/or somehow taking on a large gulp of salt water is not something I enjoy doing. (Only if you have a sore throat should you be gargling a mouthful of salt water.)
6. Last but not least… There is some bizarre and scary shit lurking in the ocean!
The ocean is like this huge other planet that we only know like 5% about (again don’t quote me on that.. just my opinion). Every time you turn around they are finding new crazy stuff in the ocean, and it’s not something I want to find when I’m trying to cool off during my vacation in my mom tankini.
That’s it folks.. those are the top 6 reasons why you will find me either in the pool or lounging around with my frozen margarita by the pool.
– Mommy H.